More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."
"I want to hire someone to stand outside my door and knock three times, with each knock being three years apart. At the end of the nine years I’ll reply, “Who is it?” And without delay or reply, the person on the other side of the door is to find a new job."
"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."