More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now."
"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up."