"I want to hire someone to stand outside my door and knock three times, with each knock being three years apart. At the end of the nine years I’ll reply, “Who is it?” And without delay or reply, the person on the other side of the door is to find a new job."
"The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK."
"On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones."
"His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up."
"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."