"In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it."
"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."
"You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor."
"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying."
"If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny."