When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes per... - Steven Wright
"When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing."
More quotes by Steven Wright
"If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?"
"Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines."
"Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?"
"I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things."
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"