More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them."
"I’m up for the Julius Caesar Author of the Year Award this year. I’m tremendously proud, considering Caesar is the guy who burned down the Library of Alexandria."
"I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."
"With six pieces of wood, I’m building a life, and my coffin."