More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I miss her like 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, and 5 misses 8. When we made love, our two bodies formed one spiral that seemed to cycle to the sky."
"I have two hands, so when I’m networking and I meet two new people, is it OK to shake both their hands at once? Or would it be more appropriate to organize a group hug?"
"A kangaroo would jump better if instead of legs, it had a trampoline under its torso. And there would be no depression, because it would bounce right back."
"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."
"Sometimes I’ll forget a utensil’s name, and I’ll say, “Give me that pointy thing,” as I point with my pointy finger."