More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"
"The love of my life has made me the happiest man ever. This ever-smiling man/mannequin is so happy because he’s got no brain, and in this way is identical to anyone who still rah-rahs for either a Republican or a Democrat."
"Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone."
"Some people grow vegetables by day, but I grow shadows by night. Right now my only customer is the US government, but the profit is unbelievable."
"I’ll wear a maze on a necklace, dangling over my chest, because if you want to get at my heart, you have to be ready to lose yourself."