More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Last year I built a Courage Machine, but I thought it might be noisy and was too afraid to turn it on. So I coated it with glue, covered it with cat hair, mounted it on my wall, and started claiming it was an exotic animal I killed on a Safari in Africa. I'd like to believe people believe me, on account of it being so strange that it has to be true."
"I love deeply. I love long. I love wide and high. That's right, my love is interdimensional, and my vortex will heal your body and soul."
"I want a moon canoe, because have you ever tried paddling through dirt? Love is a journey, and I try to travel as efficiently as I can."
"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."
"Better than learning how to speak a foreign language, is to start speaking the truth. But few people will listen, because they just don’t understand."