"Instead of sidewalks, why not sideruns? After all, the pace of life is faster than it has ever been, so I think our infrastructure’s nomenclature should reflect that."
"I told her I'd rather talk about her, instead of listening to her drone on about the weather. Little did I know she was an aspiring meteorologist."
"I sleep when I blink. I dream like I love—continuously."
"To be angry is easy, but to forgive is hard. That's why to love is easy, and to love is hard. I try to be so hard that I'm soft, like a liquid rock, fluid and forgiving, but unmovable in my resolve."
"Under the guise of being nice guys, the central bankers have done to the people what no army in history has been evil enough to do."
"I was so depressed I thought about committing TV. I mean suicide. In the end I decided to binge on @Netflix and it really made me feel better."