It’s me and you, or me and knitting. Don’t make me choose. U... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"

"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."