"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."
"The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you."
"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."
"To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone."
"Asking me if I’m in love is like asking a mortician if now is the best time to die."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."