"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."
"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."
"Love is silence multiplied by noise and divided by two."
"You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."
"Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground."