More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight."
"She had eyes like sunsets, and every time she blinked it felt like the end of the world, otherwise known as night."
"Based on the questions we both answered, we’re a 0% love match. That means we’re 100% compatible, once I enlighten her to the correct perspective on life."
"I’ll cut jewels in the shape of crumpled-up pieces of paper. Her wedding ring may look like my 33rd attempt at my marriage vows."
"I am innocent! But only because the opportunity to partake in an activity that would render me guilty has not presented itself."