I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade no... - Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.
"I've been trying to start a garage band for over a decade now, but father won't move his car."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.
"I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?"
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."
"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that."
"More people are leaving TV behind to read my books than ever before. In the last year alone I gained over two readers (three, to be exact). So I’d like to take a moment and say thanks mom, dad, and kidnap victim I keep chained in the basement."
"My grandpa died yesterday. I ought to know, because I shot him. So come, join me in the fight against patricide by killing your father’s father."