Last time I arm-wrestled, I broke my leg. Boy, what I wouldn... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"

"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."

"If I had no penis, how would I pee? How would I make love? How would I think?"

"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."

"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"