Lie to me. Just to console my soul. - Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense

"Competition is healthy. Especially when all your competitors are unhealthy, and hopefully sick and absent during the competition."

"I heard a song I hate and I thought of her. Ah, such is love."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"The most enjoyable book in the world is the phone book, because think of all the sex that went into creating the content."

"I want to open up a School of Cannibalism. It’ll be a feeder school for top law schools."