More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I love you the way ice melts in vodka—slowly, seamlessly, and invisibly. It’s a feel-good feeling whether you see it or not."
"Life is about having an attitude of gratitude. And grabitude. Seriously, you’ve got to take stuff. What, do you think someone’s just going to hand you what you want?"
"She said, “I’m having the stairs rebuilt,” and I replied, “No need to get sexual with me.” I’m a bring my own elevator kind of lover anyway."
"I was so depressed I thought about committing TV. I mean suicide. In the end I decided to binge on @Netflix and it really made me feel better."
"I use two yards of wrapping paper per one inch of present. Luckily I gave you the gift of love, so I was able to wrap it in tinfoil. Uncover before reheating."