More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"When her boyfriend broke his leg, I knew it was my chance to ask her to dance. So I put down my baseball bat and approached her like Babe Ruth."
"Let’s do a 50-50 deal, with me getting 75% of the profits, and you getting the other half. That’s how we can both get the most value out of a relationship."
"I’d row a gondola like a column is not a row. My coffee may be cold, but my love is warm. When are you going to wake up and drink it?"
"My heart is spinning. Love is a tornado. Will you be my Kansas?"
"Buy one I love you for $3.99. Buy twelve for $48.00. That’s a savings of twelve cents—directly into my bank account. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD—Objects not intended for individuals who tend to put forever objects in their mouths."