"I use two yards of wrapping paper per one inch of present. Luckily I gave you the gift of love, so I was able to wrap it in tinfoil. Uncover before reheating."
"I was just shy of reaching my goal. My goal was to be more extroverted, so being just shy meant I completely failed."
"Nothing carries meaning. People carry meaning. We are the porters of importance."
"Personal branding is crucial in today's society. Just remember to wait until the metal is red hot before pressing it into your flesh."
"Lightning doesn’t thunder twice. Let that be a lesson in love."
"I hide how I feel, and I hide the fact that I hide how I feel, but I can't bury the past without having a funeral of the heart."