Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope t... - Mark Twain

"Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever."

"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."[Mark Twain, a Biography]"

"Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought."

"I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!"

"I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know."