More quotes by Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself."
"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them."
"Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold."
"Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something"