Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

"Just because something is traditional is no reason to do it, of course. Piracy, for example, is a tradition that has been carried on for hundreds of years, but that doesn't mean we should all attack ships and steal their gold."

"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them."

"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't too bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed,"but most of us would say something more along the lines of, "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!"

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them"

"Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something"

"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."

"If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf."

"A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them."

"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."

"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."

"Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess."

"It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing."

"There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself."

"There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself."