Love is like a portable lamp/sex toy. The world calls those... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"

"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."

"I know a thing or two about love. Well, maybe just a thing. A big, blurry thing, like Bigfoot."

"You and I have a love so secret that not even you know about it. But first, let me introduce myself."

"Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient."