"I wrote an edible cookbook. The pages are made out of tortillas. It’s also the Book of Love. (Batteries and hot sauce sold separately.)"
"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."
"I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians."
"Love isn’t all flowers, candles, and dancing midgets. No, it is much, much taller than all that."