Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are yo... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."

"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."

"Her love was like cigarette smoke stirred into coffee. I drank it so fast it made me cough, but she’s not offering a refill at any price."

"I have never seduced a fish taco for selfish reasons. I am an altruistic lover."

"What is pink, blurry, and always leaving when you’re arriving? Love."