Love is like whoa! Actually, it's closer to woe. - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"Life, it’s made up of two things—time and love. A watch tells one, but what tells the other? We tell each other."

"Pain produces progress. So if you truly love me, you will try to hurt me as much as you can. If you really want me to grow as a person, you will water me with betrayal, abuse, neglect, derision, thievery, and possibly even torture."

"My boxers should require batteries, because I’m such an exceptional lover that pizza delivery people call me for carry out. 30 minutes or less—as if!"

"Love is a green sky on a blue pasture, and I am the flying cow eating it all up."

"If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers."