"When I make love, I make extra, and then I keep it in my pants pockets. Well, not all of it. I give an inappropriate amount to the tax collectors."
"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"Asking me if I’m in love is like asking a mortician if now is the best time to die."
"Two butterflies in two socks could walk faster than I can run. A love song will jog your memory like I jog like Roger Bannister in a wheelchair."
"If my last name were Hunter, I’d probably be a fisherman. That’s just the kind of lover I am."
"A crate full of discreet would appear to be empty. But it’s not. It’s full of my love for you."