"When I make love, I make extra, and then I keep it in my pants pockets. Well, not all of it. I give an inappropriate amount to the tax collectors."
"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."
"I am the broth of love. Make soup to me."
"When we make love, I orgasm much sooner than her. That’s because I know a shortcut on my bicycle."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"We can’t be lovers because we both have mustaches. But since you’re a lady, and I’m a gentleman, I’ll shave mine off."