"Love leads people to become lost in their own feelings and ignore the world, so it’s no surprise their love for the world goes unrequited."
"When you loathe yourself, a true friend will respect your honesty. And if you’ve been fortunate in life, he will probably share your opinion."
"Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion."
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, until it stops beating. Getting ripped out of the chest tends to have that effect."
"People are always insinuating that I’m rude. They say things like “Shh,” and “Careful what you say,” and “I think that guy’s listening in on our conversation."
"Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers."