People who practice freedom of expression are terrorizing ou... - Bauvard, Some Inspiration for the Overenthusiastic

"Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates."

"Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers."

"Love your wife, your servant and your enemy equally, and file her credit card bills under the ‘enemy’ folder."

"When you loathe yourself, a true friend will respect your honesty. And if you’ve been fortunate in life, he will probably share your opinion."

"Bachelorhood: all the fun of married life and more prosperity, leaving lots of descendants to boast of their father’s memory to their fellow inmates."