Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are yo... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."

"Love is the only gift that’s acceptable to give away as soon as you get it."

"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."

"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"

"Love is the science of reducing your sound while upping the amplitude of another person."