"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"It doesn’t take a hurricane to blow out a birthday candle. Let this be a lesson in love—and cake etiquette."
"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."
"She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How could I confuse "I love you"with "May I take your order?"
"As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone."
"Love waits patiently. In the lobby. I’ll be with you as soon as I can."