"In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense."
"Drink my Distraction Juice (not from concentrate). It tastes like love, only not so focused on just one ingredient."
"In a bookstore you can find me in the romance section, because I’m not a lover, I’m a reader."
"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."
"I’m running from the very person I’m chasing, and this is how I know I’m in love."
"The difference between a karate chop and a high five is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. My love can slice like a piece of pizza."