"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"I spray-paint my underwear gold, because it makes me feel like a winner. When two people are in love, one is always in second place."
"She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter."
"I wanted to tell her “I love you” back, but I guess in waiting for the perfect moment (the next commercial break), I ended up completely forgetting."
"I want to write a song about the only girl I’ve ever loved. And the chorus will say something like, “I really want to see you tonight, so I hope you leave your blinds open."
"I’d rather have 100% of 5 than 50% of 10—especially with love."