"With a palindrome of a name, like Bob, I’d be both right thinking and dyslexic. Would you love me more as a Bob, or as a Bob?"
"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."
"You’ll drown in my love story, if I ever write it using a fountain pen."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"She was washing all the dishes by hand, so I bought her a machine. I bought her a lawnmower. That’s what you do when you’re in love."
"I don’t want to make love last, I want to make love second to last. The last thing we’ll do is cuddle."