"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."
"Two become one when two are in love—or when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. I’ll pay next time, I promise."
"I’m running from the very person I’m chasing, and this is how I know I’m in love."
"If you don’t know how to love, then any old robot or mechanical device would best suit your relationship style. In this situation, vacuum cleaners might make the best lovers."
"I’m always the last in love by exactly one person."
"Your love story, I don’t want to give away the ending, but both you and your lover die."