More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"My hands could be considered deadly weapons. You see, I write with both of them."
"Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries."
"If I saw a hitchhiker wearing a tie-dyed shirt, I’d assume he’s been waiting for a ride since the 1960s. I think that kind of patience is groovy."
"I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing."