"My mother-in-law got so angry at me she vowed she’d never speak to me again, and I smiled and gave thanks for the little miracle God worked in my life."
"I realize all guys have thorns. But I am a rose, and she chose a cactus over me. I wish her luck with her dry, desert-like existence with him."
"As a sculptor, I prefer busts. As a lover of women, I prefer busts. And as a football enthusiast, I prefer Robert Griffin III."
"Of all sports, wrestling is the most like cuddling. I’m all sweaty because I’m training hard to show her how much I love her."
"Why aren’t red traffic lights heart-shaped? Probably because it’s not like rush hour can get any more romantic."
"0 plus 100 equals 100. But so does 50 plus 50, only with more balance. Let this be a lesson in love."