More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The best part about being a writer is being able to communicate with people without moving my lips. The mouth is better used for kissing."
"The trick to looking ageless is drinking 55 gallons of #FlashBangWowFuzz every 4-6 hours. 24-hour discounts available."
"I don’t like breakfast, because I like things fixed and slow. Let’s just take our relationship morning by morning."
"If I could store any character quality in a cookie jar, I’d store patience. Chocolate-chip patience cookies. And I’d eat them all at one sitting."
"She doesn’t want me to leave, and she doesn’t want me to stay. That’s a double helping of Doesn’t Want Me, and one big I’m Not Hungry back at her."