More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink.

"He had a new girl, and I told him she looked like Marilyn Monroe. He smiled because he thought I meant she was beautiful, and I smiled because I meant she looked like a corpse."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"I wish success could be ordered like delivery pizza, because I’d order take out."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"I peed on the floor to get hired. Now I’m the janitor."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"When the clock reads 3:00, I don’t call it three o’clock, I call it three hundred, and I remember the Spartans. At 3:01, however, I remember what I was doing at 2:59, and I get back to it."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More
"This book comes with its very own logo (logo sold separately)."
— Jarod Kintz, The Titanic would never have sunk if it were made out of a sink. Read More