More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"My vacation wasn’t long enough—and neither was my penis. Two weeks is just too short to satisfy one woman all night long."
"Don’t shave my head to make your wig of selfishness. Shave it because you care."
"When she tried to seduce me, I got suspicious, thinking she was just after my massive fortune. Then I relaxed, when I remembered I'm poor."
"The fragrance of romance is gratitude. Nothing says I love you like saying I love you. Sure, it’s better to show your love, but why not also say it?"
"The darkness has ink eyes, and if you stare long enough, you’re going to see it blink black. That’s the moment to start writing."