"One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more prisons. That’s what makes the US so great. That’s what freedom is all about."
"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."
"When your family dies, that’s a bummer, but that’s life. When my family dies, it’s a tragedy and the world is unbalanced and biased."
"If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures must also move, and all the words in the book must be spoken and available audibly for all the readers to hear as they watch."
"I have all the things I need to succeed in life, including a bucket of unicorn urine."
"I go to sleep in my business suit, because it makes my dreams of success seem more real."