"One of the most productive ways a government can spend money on the people is by building more prisons. That’s what makes the US so great. That’s what freedom is all about."
"The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her like a thousand drops of blood dripping down a dagger."
"I skimmed the pond scum with a spoon like broth in a soup bowl. Why does everything have to remind me of her?"
"Jarod Kintz Day—it’s not just my birthday, but it should be a holiday that’s mandatory to celebrate, punishable by death if you don’t. It’ll be a holiday that honors freedom."
"I can read lips. Especially if they have words tattooed on them."
"Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my ex girlfriend’s front yard."