More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"After I’m dead, I want to ghostwrite my autobiography."
"I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral."
"Is there a word halfway between hello and goodbye? Because that’s the word my soul is trying to say."
"He was just a kid. He didn’t care. He was like, “I’m getting in my mom’s van and I’m going home.” I was just a kid, too. But I cared. With him gone, who was I going to play Plato and Socrates with?"
"My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to the bottom of the cup, where all the sugar is. I wonder if life is the same way as we approach the end."