Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squanderin... - Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have lots of pictures. Those pictures must also move, and all the words in the book must be spoken and available audibly for all the readers to hear as they watch."

"I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit."

"Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did."

"Last year, millions of students didn’t graduate from high school. They didn’t drop out, they were simply in elementary and middle schools."

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."