Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squanderin... - Jarod Kintz, This Book Has No Title

"When someone looks at something they don’t understand and they say, “That could be a good thing, or that could be a bad thing,” they’re just highlighting the fact that they have no clue what they are talking about. Everything in the universe, besides God, could be a good or bad thing."

"Sexcess—it’s about sex in excess and success all rolled up into one sweaty ball."

"Early on I set out to write the next Great American Novel, and then later on I set out the silverware and enjoyed my dinner in silence."

"One thought I think every person eventually thinks is, “Holy shit, I’m going to die!” Sorry, I just turned thirty yesterday, so my mortality is on my mind."

"Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them."