More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I’ll be your Dostoevsky, if you’ll be my Tolstoy. Our life together will be so full of despair that death will be like a gulag full of joy."
"I have a lot of love to give, because free samples are the best way to encourage sales."
"We had a lavender kind of love, so soothing and smooth, and if I could bottle up what we had, you'd want it all over your body."
"I'm asexual, though occasionally I'm attracted to inanimate objects. Mainly tube-shaped objects."
"Quit making shade while I’m trying to make noon. Go put on a blindfold and act like midnight. There’s leftover love in the freezer if you get cold."