More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."
"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"I want to hire someone to stand outside my door and knock three times, with each knock being three years apart. At the end of the nine years I’ll reply, “Who is it?” And without delay or reply, the person on the other side of the door is to find a new job."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do that."