I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me o... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything."

"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"

"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."

"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."

"I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. And I didn’t even try! I simply waited. I’ll bet I could even do it in my sleep."