I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me o... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead."

"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."

"If religion is a crutch, then society is the broken foot."

"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."

"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."