More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."
"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."
"If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now."
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"