More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."
"I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece."
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."
"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."