The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christ... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."
"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."
"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."