More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"If you work in a hospital, you can’t easily fake call in sick to work. Oh, you’re sick? Well why don’t you come in to work and we’ll have a look at it."
"You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours."
"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."