More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."
"You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do that."
"The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK."
"I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything."