More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK."
"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."