More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece."
"You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours."
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"If religion is a crutch, then society is the broken foot."