More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones."
"She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up."
"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."
"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."