More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."
"I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone."