More quotes by Steven Wright

"I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension."
"When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing."
"It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself."
"Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for."
"Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film."