More quotes by Steven Wright

"You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time."
"If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?"
"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."
"Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before."
"It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself."